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24 January 2012

More Thoughts on Women in the Working World

Many men are intimidated by strong women in the work place and especially politics.  The more rabid conservative type men are, in my opinion, afraid of strong women and, again in my opinion, are exhibiting a paranoid weakness.

Being single most of my life, I have dated many women of all stripes:  High school grads and Phds, very short and very tall; strong and weak in the work place; skinny as a rail and very slilghtly plump; a bit younger than me and up to  twenty years older than me.   I've dated models and women not quite so beautiful.  For me to have dated any of them, I had to have seen something in them which warranted my interest, something which drew me to them.  Of course, there was then the problem of their seeing someting in me, as well, not always a given.

This brief essay is basically about the strong women which so frighten conservative types.  I have dated business women who were hell on wheels at work.  Whether they commanded respect from their underlings or instiled fear in them is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.  In my experience, they revert to our traditional concept of  women at home, in a relationship with me.  Much of their actions at work are - while not an act - necessary to conduct their work on an equal basis with men, whether with those she oversees or those who are higher in the corporate hierarchy. 

But, at home, they become my girl friends.    We had already established that we had some common interests, part of what drew me to them, of course.  I am most comfortable with their taking the traditional women's roles, at home, whilc I perform the traditional men's roles, but there is an overlap in some things and I do not mind - and, in fact, enjoy - doing things together.  Then there are other occasions when we might be doing two different things, but as long as we are doing our diffeent things together (in close proximity), I'm just as content and I believe they are, too.   I do like to have some time to myself, but I also enjoy being with them much of the time.  A good balance between the two is ideal.

I have to admit that I do particularly enjoy being her man and having her ask me to do things that she claims not to be able to do herself.  I'm happy to help.  If it's an advantage of my height or strength or knowhow, that's perfectly normal and to be expected.  However, there have been things which I think they should be able to do for themselves, particularly if I'm not around at the time.  I've been known to give them a set of tools and show them how to do various small tasks for themselves.  I enjoy teaching them these things and I'd like to think that they do not feel I'm being condescending.

Needless to say, I've been thinking about a number of women in my life as I write this; women of many different temperaments and skill sets and education.

I know, I tend to go off on  tangents, but, being an Engineer, I tend to go into details and explanations for my basic premises, background to explain my conclusions.

I wouldn't dare state that I  understand women, because I don't.  We are the same and utterly different simultaneously.  I never say to them "I understand" when I'm being used as a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on.  I simply say that "I can be understanding."  Those are two entirely different concepts and women understand that and appreciate my empathy.

In summary:  I am not afraid of strong women.  I know better.

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